Lessons...for the "teacher"

Well, we survived the first week of official homeschooling and I have learned a lot about myself.  First, I 100% believe in the Montessori philosophy (along with others), but found in reality, I am not that way!  I was feeling very "get this done" instead of focusing on the lesson and the journey and the LOVE of learning it.  (I guess I AM more Type A then I thought...).  I think because she is bright and articulate that I expect her to be 10 years old and wasn't giving her the tools she needed, and then would get frustrated with her if she grew antcy, bored, or frustrated herself.  SO after 2 days that were okay but left me feeling sort of "iffy", I had to remind myself that she is indeed 6 years old.  That the reason I am homeschooling was to "follow the child" and not have her be rushed through a curriculum.  (Thank goodness for social media support groups and a huband with a listening ear - which is usually how I come upon these "epiphanies" of mine).  On a subconscious level, I think I feel I have something to prove because I am new at this, and all of my family and friends now have eyes on me, and her, to watch and compare our progress.  Now, in reality, I don't *think* that way, but clearly it is underlying.  Anyways, I felt better admitting that and thinking it through; and subsequently, Friday was better.  Still a long way to go, and honestly, the work is within my self.  And my challenge is to not kill the joy while I am on that journey.  She really likes learning and I want to foster that.  It was just so surprising to find myself a complete 180 from what my philosophy of learning and education is!!!  I really think I like this, though, so I will continue to work on my personal improvement.   I was also worried about retention, as she is more about quantity or going on to the next thing, than actual quality.  She tends to rush ahead.  I realize this is the age, but it drives me nuts.  But, this weekend we were driving along and we talked about parts of our lesson as it came up naturally during our chat, and another time she was making these connections in random conversations that clearly showed she had understood and was "making it hers".  So cool!  And total confirmation for me, which I guess I did need.  I really have to etch that into my memory, this isn't the first time things like this happen, but somehow I seem to lose faith and forget - she is such a sponge!  She is excited and I don't want to kill her spark.  It is one of the things I really love about her, as much as it can drive my batty sometimes.  Mostly, I need to chill the heck out!!!  

SO, here's to a new week.  One of being relaxed, having fun, still "getting it done" but on our own agenda - not just *mine*.  As a side note, so far, I LOVE all of the curriculum I have chosen, from cursive, to Classical Ca"tholic Memory work, her phonics/reading program, math, and our main curriculum, Moving Beyond the Page.  I think she does too, because she regularly says, "that was fun!"  I have pictures to share of our first completed project soon.  For now, I needed to unload. 

Am I crazy?!?

Well, after our crazy busy loooooong weekend, and requisite loooooong recovery period, we took the weekend off and began Roots & Wings Academy today.

How was our first day of homeschool you ask?  Well, I had 2 whiny children and I had a lot of "other" stuff on my to-do list.  (No not ideal and certainly not planned, but stuff that had to be done nonetheless.)  It led me to question my sanity in this decision many times.  It started off great (and "on track"), and then went downhill from there.  Thankfully, after a mini-meltdown, we got it together and had a nice afternoon.  Emily kept asking me, "Is this what it is going to be like?"  I have no idea what she is expecting and I don't think she does either.  This looming "HOMESCHOOL" cloud is over her, and in reality, it looks just like her normal life but we add in activities and she doesn't go to another place for school.  Oliver is at a challenging age, so I need to be proactive in the fall with his activities and allow him to "help" us when he can.

Overall a good learning experience for me, not the hearts and flowers I wanted, but lessons that need to be done, and ones that will probably be had over and over and over again.  I worry I am too controlling and my standards are too high, but I need to be gentle with her and myself.  Flexibility will be key, and not being afraid to take a "time out" if needed.  Other great points in this article, that kept coming into my head at multiple points during the day.

And we will try again tomorrow.  It isn't perfect, but it is ours.  We will get there, wherever that is.  We took the first step, it is only the beginning and we will grow with each other.  Just, in the meantime, keep us in your prayers!!!